Today I decided I'd shoot myself. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm not talking about the do it yourself thing. I'm talking about the putting myself out there part. I am not comfortable in my own skin anymore. I haven't felt pretty since last July. I've finally found my way back to being sammaversa., but I'm not 100% there yet. I've become insanely insecure. In the past year I've become more unsure of myself than I ever thought possible. Deep down I know who I am and what I'm capable of. I have no confidence in my work or myself. I know I'm good. I know I'm better than good, yet I can't take a fucking compliment to save my life. Being constantly surrounded by such toxic people last year has really brought me down. My confidence is slowly, very slowly, resurfacing though. This time around I have Mike along with a solid group of people to just be with. It's amazing how much healthier and real you feel when you don't find yourself constantly getting compared to something or someone. They support me and encourage me daily, not just in photography but with most everything. I wouldn't have the courage to go all in this time around if it wasn't for them, especially Mike. He deals with me at my worst. It doesn't even phase him. He's straight forward and snaps me back to reality. Tonight I told him I want take his pictures next. I wonder if he realizes how big of a deal that is for me. I neverwanted to take pictures of my boyfriend before. That speaks volumes.
On a lighter note: I forgot to edit the bike that hangs from my ceiling out of the fuckin' corner. Dumbass.
1 comment:
If it makes you feel any better I think you're one of the most gorgeous girls I have ever seen in my life.
Post a Comment